One of the most detrimental factors men and woman experience during sex is their own discomfort with nudity. We have, of course, all been raised in a culture where nudity is prohibited from being displayed openly. As a result, we are all to some degree or another naturally conditioned to be afraid of exposing our nude bodies. This is perfectly natural considering the circumstances of our culture. Unfortunately, this fear of nudity manifest itself as anxiety and shame. This shame and anxiety then further leads to excessive titillation and excitement in men at the sight of a womans naked body.
It’s not that seeing a beautiful woman naked should not make you excited! It’s just that instead of fully enjoying the moment, instead of immersing ourselves in the experience, their is some part of most of us that feels a certain anxiety about the situation. Because of this, we tend to dive quickly and compulsively, directly into sex. We tend to skip one of the most essential and pleasurable sexual activities, known as foreplay.
If we don’t skip it, we don’t spend enough time on it. Most people tend to spend only up to three minutes on foreplay before going directly to sex. There is an urgent subconscious desire to make orgasm happen as quickly as possible. Many times you may even find yourself putting your clothes back on immediately or covering up with bedsheets as soon as possible.
On the other hand, if you make a conscious effort to extend foreplay, to indulge in foreplay as a large part of your sexual experience, you can gain much more comfort with the nudity of yourself and your partner. Foreplay should start with passionate kissing and touching of non sexual areas of the body.
A great way to gain complete comfort with your partners body is to give them a massage while they are completely naked. You should get some good essential oils/massage oils and give your partner a great massage. Become comfortable with looking at and feeling the entirety of their body. You can slowly increase the erotic nature of this massage as your partner slides into a fully relaxed state. That’s when you should start to massage each others genitals. As a man, you can begin by sucking on her breasts, perhaps gently biting her nipples. As you massage her you can tease her genital area, slowly running your hand around her vagina, building her anticipation. Then as you both get more and more aroused, you can start to finger her or stroke her clit.
You may then decide to go down on her. Give her great oral sex and you may even find that at some point she is so aroused by it that she wants nothing more than you to be inside her. It’s a great feeling to have her demand you to be inside of her. At this point she is so aroused that she will more than likely have an orgasm somewhat quickly. Wouldn’t that diminish your fears of premature ejaculation rather quickly, if you knew you could give a woman an orgasm within minutes of some highly arousing foreplay?
The main goal here, for you personally, is to gain complete comfort with seeing a woman naked for a long period of time without the need for instant sexual gratification. The more you do this, the more you master your anxieties and fears about sex.
Another method is to also allow your woman to please you, perhaps with oral sex or a handjob with a good lube or massage oil. During this experience, you should monitor your own arousal levels. You should learn to recognize the different degrees of arousal and how her presence and visual stimulation may affect your arousal levels. Just doing this will naturally ease your anxieties. Your focus should not be on trying to MASTER premature ejaculation, as if it’s some enemy you must conquer. In fact, the only thing to fear is fear itself. It’s your anxiety about premature ejaculation, nudity, and sex that you must conquer.
So, break out the massage oil, and make the woman your with feel like shes in a romance novel as you tenderly caress her nude body. Always remember that foreplay is an essential sexual skill, and that it can be the key to making your woman orgasm. In fact, even if you still struggle with quick ejaculation, despite lots of foreplay, chances are if you get the woman sufficiently aroused enough before penetration you will be able to quickly give her an orgasm and she will not feel disappointed by your quick ejaculation. Knowing that you are satisfying your partner sexually will begin the process of easing your anxieties, and you will begin to notice yourself becoming capable of much longer sex.
